Chapters: 1. Why Don't Men Obey God?
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17 "... AND PERFECT WILL OF GOD."
That is all I said: "I have come home to go with God." But
that is saying a great deal.
You see, I am not sharing this pilgrimage simply to compile
a book. I'm declaring what God has done. He is the One who has
accomplished it. I am striving only to exalt Jesus, to make
known what He has done for His Kingdom's work. The Holy Spirit
is the One who has led this trusting life and directed its
activities. So I honor Him for all these things.
I attempted to sleep the remainder of the night; but
instead, I rolled and tossed on the banks of accusation. The
devil was still flooding my thoughts with questions: "Now what
are you going to do? What will the elders say? What will your
father and mother say? You have broken their hearts. You have
shattered their lifelong dreams."
This was indeed true. I had disappointed my parents more
than anyone could know. They had hoped that I would someday
become the well known and highly respected pastor of a large
urban church. I had been told by dear ones that I was one of the
young ministers who showed promise of a good future. Now it
appeared as if I was turning my back on everything. Many
probably wondered how I could ever expect to advance in the
church unless I was well educated; and by leaving seminary, I was
throwing away the key to a successful ministry in the church. I
had broken the hearts of many of my loved ones and close friends,
who had been expecting great things of me. Very few understood.
But my wife was not surprised. She had known that God
163 was going to do something. Isn't it wonderful that the same
Light which told me that she was mine, also let her know about me
and some areas I was passing through? It seems that God
sometimes informs her about situations before I am able to tell
her or need to tell her. Praise the Lord.
I am so glad she didn't say, "Now look here--you get back to
school. You straighten up and get hold of yourself! We have to
have a pastorate! Don't go off on some tangent now!" Often
people will try to straighten you out. If I had not had the
companion God knew that I needed, she might have been tempted to
"bring me back to my senses," set me back in the order of earth,
and put me on the next train back to Chicago. Most women, I
believe, would have wanted to have a few explanations, at least.
But my precious wife realized that there was a Higher Power
than man doing this. A Higher Authority than earth was involved
in this. (Hallelujah! I feel the power of God when I tell you "a
Higher Authority than earth was in this," Glory to God! The
Holy Spirit tells me now that this was true! It is wonderful to
have God tell you with power that He was the One directing you
when everything seemed dark. It is something to get happy about,
believe me!)
When I awoke the next day, I went to see my District Elder.
I told him that I had stopped my seminary training. Thinking I
had either become discouraged with school or planned to drop the
ministry, he said, "Son, you have a promising ministry in our
church. Just go over to this other seminary and finish your
education."
Of course, I had no desire to leave the church or to stop
working in the church. I loved every church then, and I love
them more now. I love every church of Jesus everywhere. And
yet, some people say that I am out to divide churches. They tell
that I am out to take over churches. It is difficult for me to
believe anyone would ever think such a thing, for all I want to
do is walk with God, to seek and do His will. I am simply
striving with all my might to help all people love
164 Jesus and their fellow man. I have so little of Jesus, I know.
I need so much more of His love. I cry out daily to be filled
more with the sacred Holy Spirit.
The elder inquired, "What are you going to do?"
I answered, "My Brother, God is calling me. He is calling
me to trust Him."
"What?" he replied.
"God is calling me to trust Him," I repeated.
"I don't know what you mean," he said.
"Well, He has called me to trust Him," I told him again.
His demeanor at once became deeply serious. Solemnly he
cautioned me, "Now I will tell you, Son--you may get along
alright someway if you go into this kind of life. You may make
it fairly well until you are forty-five. But if you don't obtain
more advanced training, achieve more knowledge and wisdom--by the
time you are forty-five your ministry will start down."
"Well," I answered him, "God is calling me to trust Him.
That is all I know: only trust Him and do His will." I knew
that unless God were leading, I would never make it to the age of
forty-five.
I am unable to explain what it was like within my soul
during this time. Nothing but naked faith supported my decision
to live my life in absolute trust in Jesus. There was no flow of
emotion to sustain me or carry me through. Within and around my
spirit there was a darkness that I am unable to describe; but, oh
--what peace was in my soul. I was happy in Jesus, although I
was alone in the earth as I had never experienced aloneness. I
was in a midnight walk of the soul all that week, from Monday
night through to the following Sunday night.
That evening the church was nearly filled, for God had been
doing miracles in this pastorate. Twelve to fifteen men from
these churches truly loved us. That evening, this chorus of men
was to sing, after which I was to preach. Since 1933 I had
preached by outline, and as I went into the pulpit that
165 night, I sensed so deeply my inability to present a sermon. I
felt that I knew no more how to declare God's Word than a four or
five-year-old boy.
All too soon the men finished singing. I rose and started
for the pulpit, not knowing what to do or what words to speak. I
started to say, "Oh, Father in Heaven...," when, suddenly I was
on the hand of God going up like an elevator! The darkness of
that preceding week blew away like a cloud and I was in sunrise!
God was taking me far up somewhere in His love and revelation.
He said, "My Son, you will preach tonight on: `I beseech
you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present
your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which
is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world:
but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may
prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.'"
It seemed that my life was a funnel: my mouth was the tiny
spout of this funnel and God was pouring His revelation through
me in such a quantity that I couldn't talk fast enough to get it
all out. He was pouring so much of Himself into my life that I
couldn't contain it, and it was flowing over the sides. I was so
thrilled with Jesus that I was all over the platform. The glory
of God was evident everywhere in that sanctuary as I was
preaching about going with God, doing God's will. I was trying
to tell them how God is so sweetly beseeching us by His mercies
every day to do only His will.
I was striving to share with them the imperative of
presenting ourselves holy unto God. Jesus was preaching through
me that we must be totally His, a complete sacrifice; that we
must be pure and undefiled; that this is our only reasonable
service. As He had never done before, God was moving me from one
side of the pulpit to the other, trying to get across His message
that we must prove what is His good and acceptable and perfect
will.
That's where God was taking me in His call to trust Him
166 absolutely. That night I started toward God's perfect will.
My people had never before seen the anointing of God upon me
like that. Jesus was preaching through me that we in the church
are living a thousand miles below where God wants us to live.
"There are too many missing links!" I cried. "We are coming far
short of the will of God! God wants to work in us. He wants to
have His way with us!"
People were at the altar. They were weeping and Heaven was
all around. I had never preached like that in my life. I had
never been in such a light like that. It was the first time I
had forsaken all the peoples of the age to go with God, and He
was working through me. Glory! Oh, the light was wonderful!
The darkness was gone and I wasn't alone. For days I had simply
believed and gone by faith. God somehow helped me not to look at
the darkness or the hardships, but to look only to Him.
(Now this what you want to do all the time. Don't place
your attention on any difficulties at any time. Look
only to Jesus through every circumstance. Keep your eyes fixed
upon Him constantly. Maintain praise and adoration in your heart
even when you don't feel like it, when it is not easy to praise.
We will never be able to work out a single situation ourselves
anyway. Leave the working-out to God and simply keep your eyes
on Jesus, who is the Answer to every need and every problem.)
My people were weeping, and I was trying to tell them that
God wants us to be faithful and true. He doesn't want us hot and
then cold, up and then down. He wants us to be consistent,
alive, radiant, rejoicing--through every situation which we
experience. He wants us to be overcomers.
I had discovered few Christians who had this victorious
overcoming experience. I didn't know the missing links in
Christianity then; but God has let me discover one or two of them
over the years. I learned that the the missing link which
connects us to a continuous life as an overcoming Christian is
self-denial. We must learn to deny Self in a heart of
trust;
167 for then we move, through the leadership of the Holy Spirit, to
obedience and the cross.
We in the church can sing, preach, pray, read scripture, go
along with the religious program, and never once deny Self.
Often, instead of depending on God to guide us, we plan a little
of what we want to do, sing the songs we like to hear, and preach
when we want the preaching to take place. We pretty much arrange
activities which suit our taste and conform to our schedule.
But, you see, God wants all of the church's activities at His
direction. He wants to be all of the content of our program.
Christ must have everything.
We must wait on Him until He sends, until He guides, until
He reveals. We must wait on Him so that He can lead the
church, lead the body, and become the true Head of his believing
followers.
According to the scriptures, Jesus must be the Head of the
Church. If He isn't the Head of the body, it will be because He
is not leading. And when He is not leading, the body becomes a
headless body--a social organism incapable of sustaining life.
Like a chicken with its head cut off, it thrashes around
meaninglessly in all directions and is unattractive to the world.
God has shown me that any congregation severs itself from
Jesus, the true Head, simply by working out a religious program
which is not led by the witness of the Holy Spirit--even when
that program appears feasible, beneficial, and helpful to both
that church and the community. This congregation may consist of
apparently beautiful, religious people. They may have excellent
orthodoxy; they may preach conversion by the blood of Jesus; they
might have the finest Christian ethics; they may be well-informed
and well-trained; but, as yet, they simply have not waited on God
to be inwardly crucified and learn the leading of the Holy
Spirit.
Many in the constituency of the churches today have a fair
knowledge of fundamental Christianity, and feel comfortable
within the order of Sunday morning worship. But I fear that
168 there are not many who have pressed from conversion on into a
consistent experience of self-denial, willing to rely on God with
all their hearts, and striving to follow each leading of the Holy
Spirit. In fact, in all of my travels, I have met very few who
have waited on God sufficiently that they are able to discern the
Holy Spirit's guidance.
In the last few years, Jesus has begun to teach me that He
has a plan for every occasion in which His children meet to have
fellowship and worship. It is absolutely essential that we
get quiet long enough to discern that plan. Once we are
able to understand what He wishes and obey Him, then Jesus truly
becomes the Guide, or the Head, of that group of believers. The
Body of Christ begins to take on divine life when He is actually
directing the movements of His followers. When He leads, it is
like Heaven. When He guides, God's Kingdom comes to earth.
But if we as a congregation are not receiving His directions
and doing what He says, then it is not God's Kingdom operating
within the church structure--it is our own kingdom. The little
kingdoms of religious activities, which we often construct
because we don't know what else to do, have no divine power. As
sincere as our efforts may be, our instigations are born of the
earth, not of Heaven.
A multitude of sincere seekers will involve themselves in
these church activities thinking they are serving God, when
actually they are serving a man-made institution. A few dear
ones may even be genuinely converted through our program; but,
unfortunately, most grow lukewarm and cold within a short time,
because they had no example of waiting on God, of denying self,
of obeying Jesus. If they remain, they often become followers of
the mores and styles of the human-dictated kingdom, and are
detoured from the true walk with God.
Do you see how tragic it is going to be for us in the church
if we have not permitted Jesus to be the actual Head of our
congregation? If we in the church have been working out
169 programs and services as we want them and think they should be,
instead of as Jesus desires, do you see what terrible judgment
will fall upon us?
It is not an easy assignment for me to cry out like this to
the professed Church. But unless I make known what the Holy
Spirit has revealed to me, I will be held accountable. It is
very serious to call ourselves "the Church" if we are not
striving with all our energies to deny Self and obey the leadings
of the Holy Spirit. Unless Jesus is literally directing
the activities of any congregation just like the brain in our head
controls our own human body, then that group of persons--as precious
as they are--becomes a headless body.
Are you gaining a little glimpse of how serious it is to be
in the church?
Dear ones, we must be for Jesus with all our hearts. If He
hasn't been absolutely first in everything we have sought or
done, we will come short of His will.
Jesus said, "Not everyone that saith Lord, Lord, shall enter
the Kingdom of heaven: but He that doeth the will of my Father
which is in heaven." It is doing God's will absolutely in
Christ that matters! And we are to wait on Him until He
makes His will clear to us. We are not to work out anything or
work up anything, but let Him work through us as He chooses.
The secret of God being able to work through His people in
power is simply this: CEASE TO WORK IT OUT OURSELVES, AND
LET HIM WORK THROUGH US. (Beloved, if you can digest
this and get it into the muscle and bone of your inner man, it
will be worth more than the cost of all books ever sold; because
it will introduce you to the mystery of God's will being done in
earth as it is in Heaven.)
Now the Powers of the Air will not want you to get hold of
this in your heart. They will minimize the depth of holy truth
in this little phrase. Many will say to themselves, "My, isn't
that interesting?" and then read on, looking for something a bit
more exciting.
170 But God wants this feeble servant's life shared just for
this purpose: that God's people might begin to learn this divine
secret. We are to cease trying to do God's work, and let Him
simply work through us His Kingdom.
Several of you may already be asking, "But how do I let God
work through me?"
First we must truly repent of all of our sins. We must ask
Jesus to forgive us and save us. We must be converted and become
like a child.
We then begin to let God work through us by waiting upon
Him. Set aside a time each day, preferably before you begin your
day's activities, to be alone with God. It may be fifteen
minutes in duration; it could be one hour or more. Simply talk
to God from your heart. Tell Him how you love Him. Read some
scripture and meditate on it. Especially be attentive to the
promptings of the Holy Spirit while you are waiting and
listening.
As we begin to learn to wait upon Him, He will start to slay
us, refine us, and bring us into His likeness. He will begin to
remove the short circuits, the briars, and the stickers which are
hidden in our natures and our personalities: these harmful
things which ruin more seed than we could ever plant.
As we trust Him, He will teach us to rest in Him, to rely
upon Him, to really believe His Word. We will learn to love Him
more deeply and praise Him more frequently.
Occasionally He will send us on an errand: perhaps we are
to speak to a neighbor about how wonderful Jesus is. We aren't
to argue or tell him that he is going to hell. We are simply to
tell him how precious Jesus has been to us. Sometimes Jesus will
ask us to stand in church and witness for Him. He may show us
that we need to ask forgiveness of some person for our wrong
attitudes. As we are waiting, He will be showing us the simple
steps of obedience and how to walk with Him.
You see, one doesn't learn to walk with God overnight. I
wouldn't dream of learning the Hebrew language in one day,
171 in two weeks, or even in three months. This is a walk with God,
and it is the highest privilege in the world. There is much to
know, and there are many lessons to learn.
One of the first lessons God will teach us as we wait before
Him is that we can do absolutely nothing good in ourselves.
He will begin to show us that, until He leads, we can only do
damage by our own attempts. It may look as if much is
being lost and that something must be done, but simply continue
trusting until He gives you guidance. He can do more in
seconds than men can do in centuries; and when He does it, it is
done fully, beautifully, and lastingly.
Before we wait too many hours in the secret of our own
prayer closet, He will teach us that His ways are not our ways.
While we are anxious to get things going, we will discover that
God moves very slowly; yet, He moves swiftly when the time is
right.
We will begin to observe that God has no set patterns, but
that He works in infinite variety. We would like to set a scheme
to things. But He will go to great lengths to demonstrate to us
that He is above our plans and our arrangements. He will work
out the situations which face us in ways that will constantly
amaze and delight us.
These are only a few of the lessons we may learn as we press
daily to seek God's face. He will not come short of His promises
toward us if we truly are striving to love Him more than we
desire to do anything else on this earth.
God revealed to me some years ago that He will send a mighty
World Wide Revival that is truly of the Holy Ghost, once He can
find a body of believers who will truly begin to wait upon Him
and put Him absolutely first above everything of earth. This
Revival, which I have been anticipating now for over thirty
years, will not come by fanaticism, by seeking gifts and
manifestations, or by striving to gain power with God. It will
be given by the Holy Spirit in God's time as we seek only His
will and His love in Jesus Christ. This mighty
172 work of righteousness to come is His, not ours. We are only
the sheep of His pasture.
God wants to give us His Kingdom. The secret is: Cease
from arranging our lives and permit Him to operate through us as
He wishes: in a simple life of trust and obedience; in a
consistent, continual denial of self-desires without variation or
vacation.
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